kerry vs. bush: round 1

September 30th, 2004

tonight is probably one of the last chances for kerry to take this election back from bush. so lemme speak directly to my friend john kerry:
now, kerry, sir, please listen to me! frisky?’s your friend. ok? so, please, as a friend, im telling you to grow some fucking balls and stick it to the man! stop looking confused all the time and give straight answers. stop beating around the bush (pardon the pun) and learn from bush who gives simple, ‘yes/no/aaa i dont know’ answers. not everyone is a yale graduate. you have to appeal to the tobacco-chewing, trailer-park, nascar-watching people in the midwest. most of them watch the fox news channel instead of the daily show with jon stewart and are therefore dumber, much dumber than you. speak like youre talking to a 10 year old (because, mr kerry, if youre talking to bush, you are talking to a 10-year-old!) grow some balls and speak your mind, say that the iraq war was wrong. stop being politically correct all the time. this is your last chance to win the election and, indeed, save the world from this mad man. help us john kerry, youre our only hope.

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